Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Sticking With Prayer

In the end, it was prayer that saved Teresa [of Avila] from herself. This despite the fact that her next twenty years were spent in a state of interior civil war: she could not let go of God or leave the convent, yet she could not let go of her quest to win the love and admiration and praise of others either. Once she resumed her efforts to pray, she did so assiduously, going off to the oratory for an hour or more each day, regardless of how distracted she might be or how empty the experience. She confesses that at times all she could think about was the hour being over and states that it took actual courage for her to devote this time to God, for it was often impossible for her to concentrate. She credits this perseverance in prayer with any growth in virtue that occurred in her over the years. God continued to act within her in spite of her strong personality simply because she gave him time to do so by meeting him in prayer each day.
Can I tell y'all how hopeful this made me feel? I am not a very good pray-er in so many ways. It's easy to talk the talk ... but that walking part. Can't someone else do it? My biggest strides forward lately have been in simply forcing myself to make time to go off by myself and pray. I am thankful that Teresa was open enough to admit that she suffered so much from many of the same problems we all face ... for that gives me hope that God will do much of the work too if I am able to show myself willing by making the time for prayer.

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