Candidate Comparisons

Now that we have it down to two candidates, The Onion makes it easy to compare them.

Saturday Night Live Appearance:
Solid
(See more here.)

Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium
(See more here.)

Seriously, this may be the only way I am able to get through the upcoming campaign. Thank goodness for The Onion!